


Kiibo & Miu Hit Miami

by Mr_Hinadam_Wide



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Drinking, Florida, Gen, Komahina Secret Exchange 2020, Murder, Queerplatonic Relationships, Slurs, Worried P. T. Barnum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Hinadam_Wide/pseuds/Mr_Hinadam_Wide
Summary: Kiibo and Miu spring break in Miami
Relationships: Iruma Miu & K1-B0, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Kiibo & Miu Hit Miami

It was a beautiful day in Danganronpa High School. Miu burst into the cafeteria kicking down the door in her 7 inch heels holding Kiibo up by the back of his neck dangling like a mother cat holding a kitten who had misbehaved. No one turned to look at this.

Miu stormed up to a table where Saihara was sitting alone eating his very interesting meal of a water sandwich on whitebread and saltine crackers. He looked like he hadnt slept in ten years in a bad way and was drawing danganronpa fanart on lined paper in his journal that may or may not just be for D tier yaoi.

"Oh, hi Miu. Hi Kiibo," he said as he traced the final edges of his komahina fankid. 

Miu slammed Kiibo down on the seat next to him and gave him a look that said "this is the kind of shit we were fucking talking about" and stomped away to go do something unvalid probably.

"Uh, Saihara-kun, I don't know how to say this but--"

Suddenly the sound of crashing pots and pans could be heard from the kitchen. It was definitely Miu. No one looked up.

"What is it?" asked Saihara, already crying for no reason at all, his tears falling onto the Komaeda mpreg upon the page. 

His beta cuck tears were too much and Kiibo sighed, already having given up his initial endeavor to break up with Saihara. Maybe he was being unreasonable. After all, Saihara was just kind of boring and cried constantly and never intiated their conversations and only talked about danganronpa and never took his genuine complaints of stupid bullshit fantasy robot racism seriously and never stood up for him and let him do stupid self destructive shit and made komahina vampire AUs, but aside from that he was a great boyfriend. After all, he had never once called him a single slur, which met Kiibo's one and only standard of not being racist towards him, and thus in his eyes made them soulmates.

Suddenly Ouma was squirming toward their table in the center of the cafeteria. He greeted Kiibo with his usual greeting, a transphobic slur. He was wearing a T shirt that said "liberal, much?" and a 4channish fedora over his unwashed limp severus snape hair. 

"Can you like...go away" Kiibo asked in exasperation.

Ouma was shocked at this blatant verbal attack against cishet white men. "I hope your entire race gets genocided," he replied "Racial slur."

Saihara had flipped the page and had started drawing Komaeda's hair. He said nothing. When Kiibo looked at Saihara for assistance, all he saw was the Hinata on the page. Somehow it seemed the yaoi drawing was pleading with him. 

Out of nowhere Ouma's little 4'10 manlet body was overcast in the shadow of a 6'2 woman. "What's up, femoid?" Ouma asked.

"What the fuck are you doing now you stupid nazi rat?" Miu demanded.

Suddenly Ouma had that look in his eyes. Miu was familiar with this look. She had beaten his ass over it many times. He was about to piss his pants as a power move to epicly own the libs. 

"Oh god no. Not again" Saihara cried, the first words he spoke since this situation began. Despite Saihara's pathetic incel nature Miu couldn't help but feel slightly bad for him as Ouma walked up and pissed his pants while staring him in the eye almost every day, far more than he had with any other student. No one knew why.

"Jesus Christ," Kiibo remarked.

"You know what? I'm sick of your shit," Miu yelled, "GET OVER HERE." She punched Ouma in the face and crumpled him up into a bowling bar and threw him as hard as she could at the opposite wall. She then sprinted forward and pulled out her amy rose sonic hammer and began to beat him repeatedly.

Everyone just kind of stood and watched. No one liked Miu but definitely nobody fucking liked Ouma, and so he was offered no assistance.

After hitting Ouma with her hammer for the 69th time she sat back down at the cafeteria table, covered in blood. "Actually, I'm gonna go get some pasta," she said casually and got back up. 

When she came back, Rantaro was in the middle of the cafeteria, poking Ouma's unresponsive manlet body with a stick. "Uhh," he said, "I think he's dead."

Miu dropped her pasta tray on the dirty school floor in shock. Then hastily scrambled to scrape the remaining floor noodles off the ground, her white plastic fork clashing against the bowling alley-bus seat-abandoned blockbuster carpet design.

"Uhhh, Kiibo, we gotta go," she said, tapping him on the shoulder repeatedly so he'd get up from his chair.

"Wh-where are we going?" he asked with heterosexual platonic uke curiousity.

"That doesn't matter," she said, hastily shoving her Oumablood-soaked hammer back into her pocket like a cartoon character somehow. "Also Saihara Kiibo is breaking up with you cuz ur a cuck bye," she added hastily as she dragged Kiibo out of the room.

"Wait, what?" Saihara asked in a pathetic voice that displayed the inner insecurities of a danganronpa stan.

-

"We're going on a plane?" Kiibo for some reason only first asked when he got into his seat. "Seriously, where are we going? You're not taking me to the rick and morty booth at comiccon again are you?"

"No. Though that sounds dope as fuck. We have to go somewhere because I'm kinda wanted for murder," Miu stated and said a slur in exasperation under her breath. "So we might as well go somewhere where I can blend in."

"Oh no," Kiibo said in dawning horror.

"We're going to Florida!" Miu said as she cracked open a can of bud light.

"Ma'am you can't bring your own drinks in here," a flight attendant said politely.

"Fuck off." Miu said as the plane began to ascend.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah


End file.
